If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
