My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
