omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize