I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
