There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize