I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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