Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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