you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
