wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
