that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize