Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
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