I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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