is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize