U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
tell me about the fingering
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