You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
