well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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