It's like a parade of train wrecks.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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