I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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