great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
