well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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