Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
