so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize