I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
