Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
