if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
