If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
