Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think my moral compass just broke
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
