New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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