I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
