I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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