My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize