he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
