Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
