I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
