I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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