Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think my moral compass just broke
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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