We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
