Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize