Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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