Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize