He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
