If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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