I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
