Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
