OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
