Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
