Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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