Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
