I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
