Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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