so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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