I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize