Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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