fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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