I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
