Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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