I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
