You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
