Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
How external is "for external use only"?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
