Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
