there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
