Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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