Dual....:-)
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
