No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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