brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yo dont text me then not text me
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Farmville is her only friend.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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