I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
