YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
high people should be assigned attendants
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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