I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
