i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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