I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
