Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
